I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
