I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize