I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
