The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
