I'm eating all of the evidence.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
