i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
