Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
