Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
