Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
