"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
