youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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