i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
