In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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