he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You ruined the universe
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
