I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
