Princesses don't give blow jobs
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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