is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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