Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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