cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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