I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
