haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
from now on my penis is your penis
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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