I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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