I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
