I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
