capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
