Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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