his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
