Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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