so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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