what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
