If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!