super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.