I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.