I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.