You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.