Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You ruined the universe
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
