the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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