I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
