Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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