How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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