yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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