I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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