You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
