What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
