So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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