me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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