He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
