I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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