found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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