I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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