Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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