hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
worst night to have a conscience
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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