So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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