why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I pour the whiskey from now on
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
