Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize