Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
