got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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