Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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