apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
