she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize