plz talk dirty to me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
