Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
