filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
