He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
