i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize