Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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