u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
