Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake

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(703): View more from Virginia

i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)

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(831): View more from California

My boss' voice literally gives me gas

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(209): View more from California

he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

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(708): View more from Illinois

so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.

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(512): View more from Texas

You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!

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