just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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