Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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