we made out on top of his cat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
