i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize