Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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