Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
