i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize